Friday, March 25, 2011

Crassly Sexualized Science Fantasy Sorcerer Spells: NSFW?

Perky Shae Sorceress, Altia, moments from a confrontation with a mutated tree and a horny beanbag… er… it was supposed to look like a rock. Honest. Fuck it. This shit is free, stop bitching… Look a tattooed elephant! and nipples! Click to engorge enlarge.

Ahem, anyway...

As I have stated elsewhere, clerics are rarer than humans on the Metal Earth (i.e. pretty fucking rare) . However, Sorcerers not only have all the MU spells, but access to some spells which are traditionally reserved for clerics as well. I have made small changes to most of the spells below and there are a couple of new spells too. The list below contains only first level spells; the rest will come soon.

Before I get to the spells, two items for those of you who visit regularly:

1. I’m a bit scattered lately, but a lot of the incomplete multi-part posts (like this one) will be worked out in the near future; I have no idea in what order, though.

2. I don’t really have another item, I just wanted to throw a list up because I thought it might make me look organized in front of the folks that showed up for the tattooed, earring sporting elephant (Which I think I stole the idea for from a dirty Pathfinder book I flipped through).

3. Wait, I do have something! Everything is under control. I got a scanner, the art I post will look a little bit better. Over the next week or so, I'm going to switch out some of what is already up for newly scanned versions.

First Level Sorcerer Spells

Most of these are based on the OGL spells from S&W WB. A few are my own. I have altered all but the final three, but I left them up as a convenience for those who wish to make use of the list . They can copy it all from here. I declare all of my own spells open game content.

Arcane Bolt

Spell Level: S1

Range: 20ft

Duration: instantaneous

Caster throws a bolt of howling chaos energy. This bolt will cause a minor wound to any medium or smaller creature. A second bolt (cast during the next round only) will rob the target of 50% of their remaining hit points, and expand the Minor Wound into a Major Wound.

Detect Corruption

Spell Level: S1

Range: 60 ft.

Duration: 1 hour

The caster detects creatures that have been altered or corrupted by radiation or magic within the spell’s range.

Detect Magic

Spell Level: S1

Range: 60 ft.

Duration: 20 min.

The caster can perceive in places, people, or things the presence of a magical spell or enchantment. Magical items or secretly placed charms may be discovered with this spell.

Detect Radiation

Spell level: S1

Range: 200 ft.

Duration: 1 hr

The caster can perceive dangerous levels of radiation within the spell’s range.


Spell Level: S1

Range: 120 ft.

Duration: Until dispelled

This spell affects living bipeds of human size or smaller, such as apes or sharkmen. If the spell succeeds (saving throw allowed), the unfortunate creature falls under the caster’s influence. In order to cast the spell the caster must possess a personal item belonging to the target, or use an obvious visible focus, such as a shiny coin.


Spell Level: S1

Range: 120 ft.

Duration: 1 hour + 10 min./level

1. As an illuminate spell the caster brings into being a floating globe of light about the size of a human skull and about as bright as a torch. The globe moves with the caster or remains stationary, at thei sorcerer’s discretion.

2. As a Shroud spell, the caster instead causes night-time darkness to fall upon the area with a radius of 20 feet, regardless of extant light sources. This field of darkenss can move with the caster or remain in one place, at the sorcerer’s discretion.


Spell Level: S1

Range: Touch

Duration: Instantaneous

The caster can cure one Minor Wound or reduce one Major wound to a Minor Wound. If cast twice, the spell can cure one Major Wound or reduce a Grievous Wound to a Major wound. No wound will respond to the speel more than twice. The spell caster cannot cast the spell on herself and incurs 1 pt of Hit Point damage each time the spell is cast. This point of damage takes 24 hours to heal.

Power up
Spell Level: S1
Range: Touch
Duration: 1 min (1 charge)/ level:

The caster has the ability to power up any technological device such as an autonm, computer, raygun, or a electronic door

Protection from Radiation/Chaos

Spell Level: S1

Range: Caster only

Duration: 1 hour

Will protect caster from effects of harmful radiation, Arcane Bolts or curse squalls.

Purify/ Putrefy Food and Drink

Spell Level: S1

Range: Close/Touch

Duration: Instantaneous

1. As a Purify Food and Drink spell. the caster causes enough food and water for up to a dozen people to be made pure, removing spoilage and poisons.

2. As a Putrefy Food and Drink spell. the caster causes enough food and water for up to a dozen people to be made putrid, creating spoilage and poisons.

Read Languages

Spell Level: S1

Range: Reading distance

Duration: 1 or 2 readings

This spell allows the caster to read directions, instructions, and similar notations that are written in unfamiliar or even unknown languages. It is especially useful for treasure maps.

Read Magic

Spell Level: S1

Range: Caster only

Duration: 2 scrolls or other writings

This spell allows the caster to read magical writings on items and scrolls. Magical writing cannot be read without the use of this spell.


Spell Level: S1

Range: 240 ft.

Duration: Referee’s discretion

This spell puts enemies into an enchanted slumber (no saving throw is permitted). It can affect a number of creatures based on their hit dice.

Note: I wrote this piece of shit in Word before moving it over to blogger and the format is well and truly fucked; I can't seem to fix it, so please excuse the goofy spacing in some places.


  1. I thought it was a mutant potato. LOL

    Nothing wrong with a topless chick in fantasy art - if anything, it should be standard. Nothing I hate worst then "modesty hair/streams" ruining a perfectly good pic.

    Keep up the good work!

  2. I think I'll be crassly sexualizing all my posts from now on.

  3. I think for variety I'm going to draw some people wearing shirts but no pants in the near future.
    I love these spells!
    I'd like to visit the metal earth but fear I would be meat in under 5 minutes.

  4. @ Limpy, there is a naked guy (except for boots and a gas mask) on the blog title card. He is, of course, sporting a editorial sword, though.
    I'm thinking of doing a web comic strip adaptation of "A Princess of Mars" or doing a long science fantasy tale of my own devising and if such a thing comes to pass, I guarantee you it will have a lot of full frontal nudity of both sexes- and it wont be any of that stuffy mature nudity either, it will be completely unapologetic, thoroughly sexualized, jiggling and gratuitous.

  5. "I think for variety I'm going to draw some people wearing shirts but no pants in the near future."

    Sounds like a good idea... Why dose it feel so drafty, all of a sudden? O_O

    "I love these spells!"

    Spells? What spells? ;P

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