Saturday, March 26, 2011

1d12 table of random NPC asssholery

I wrote this whilst thinking about some of the people I knew in Jr high, and (especially) grad school. Some of these people will make an exceedingly good first impression, others will be blatant assholes right from the start. I actually know someone with 11 of the 12 traits (she is hygienic) so feel free to roll multiple times- perhaps you could even roll 1d12:

  1. Persecution complex: thinks everyone is out to get him/her.
  2. Bad hygiene: never washes, smells like a goat.
  3. Pathological liar: lies all the time, even when the truth would suit his purpose.
  4. Negative: interprets everything in the worst light.
  5. Sexist: openly hates the opposite sex.
  6. Invalidator: sneers at the aspirations and efforts of others.
  7. Manipulative control freak: everything they do is designed to influence and maneuver others.
  8. Whiner: bitches and complains all the time.
  9. Cowardly.
  10. Angry: Mad about something all the time. If one situation gets resolved, they find something else.
  11. Traitor: Completely without loyalty.
  12. Arrogant, self involved big talker : Begins virtually every sentence with the word “I” and is the hero of every story they tell, furthermore this individual will often pretend to have special status or access to secret knowledge.

Note: Most of the people i know from grad school are fine human beings, but it is hard to deny that the asshole index is a little higher in academia than in the general population.