Thursday, January 31, 2013

An open offer to the readers of OSR blogs and shit

Give up all those other blogs and read mine instead.

I know a lot of these blogs are still going, and most of them post more and better content than I do, but come on, fuck it, this is the OSR, so lets not get wrapped up in concepts like 'quality' or 'decency' okay?

Anyway, here's why I think you shoud read this blog:

I have smaller genitels (and boobs) than most OSR guys so if we decide to take things to the next level and I move into or in with you, you'll hardly know I'm there, and you'll feel better about yourself.

I can't spell most commmon use words or tell left from right; so do it out of pity.

I like funyuns, squeeze cheese, and recreational pharmiciticals, and I'm not afraid to admit it. This kind of integrity is rare in today's healthonormative society; bask in it.

Despite the problem with common use words mentioned above, I can spell the fuck out of the word fuck, and I like to do so right before Y words like yes, you and year. Fuck Yellow!

I can't write or draw for shit, so you know, we're back to pity.

I recycle my... Nevermind, that's not a good reason.

Hey, a lot of you guys are American right? You guys don't care about that quality shit, and a shout out to Europe and Australia and Canada too; you guys take shit from us all the time; what's a little more? You can take it! Subscribe, bitch!

I use the word bitch as a unisex term of endearment.

I love you bitches.

Margerine is my lubricant of preference, so my pants always smell like pancakes. You can be my Mrs Butterworth, nerd.

I once killed a seagul with a rock while drunk and within easy sight of a nuclear power plant. Beat that, beardo.

I dig ditches for a living, when I'm not living off my wife. I can give you advice on how to do either.

I want you to think of me as like the walmart greeter of OSR blogs, because like those guys, one bad case of PMS and my next position will involve a freeway exit and a cardboard sign. I'm thinking the sign will read "will live off you for money," but I'm open to making a random table out of it too. Maybe I'll have a contest!

I...

Fuck Yemen! That's all I've got.


Oh wait, i need to pay my Joesky tax

Rock
AC 1 [19]
HD na
Movement: 0
Morale 12
These fucks are everywhere, and I'm pretty sure they're up to something: rolling; eroding out of hillsides; fucking shovels up; gathering moss; casting shadows; crumbling; it's up to you! Use your imagination!





13 comments:

  1. The Other Side takes 66d6 burn! damage.

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  2. fucky

    also ups to the dude above me with the Harris Trinsky pic

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  3. I will tell all my decadent eurotrash friends about your blog. We will discuss how your exciting art brutal blog compares to Scandinavian deep immersion larping while we are drinking wine and wagging our pinkies.

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  4. As an Australian I don't understand exactly what is going on here but I can tell you are loud and crass and crude. This seems like a recipe for success in the United States so I want to get on board now before your blog gets turned into a movie or reality TV series.

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  5. Man, wilderness peril is going to be so friggin' perilous with all those Rocks out there!

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  6. I will restrict my RPG blog reading to yours only if you promise that, once you get really popular, you'll launch a Kickstarter campaign that exceeds its goals by tens of thousands of dollars, then fail to deliver on anything.

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  7. Somebody suggested I get off my high horse and do a KS yesterday, no shit.

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  8. Highlight of my blogoday thus far. Cheers :)

    Also, designate Rock as open game content... I'm guessing a few readers have projects in the works that would benefit from padding their creature list.
    ~V~

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